Hey guys,
2018 was suppose to be one of the greatest years - I turned 21, graduated with a 2:1 in a subject I was very passionate about, booked a girls holiday to Barcelona, got a really good job, etc. But there was a lot of blocks in the way which was such a BIG struggle.
Breathe & Let it Go
As much as I say I'm not a fan of Frozen (my sisters played it too many times) I do love the song 'Let It Go' - "I'm never going back, the past is in the past". I have had to learn this lesson quite a fair bit. Not even going into detail about how I learnt my lesson. But this lesson made me realise that you may think people have changed but they may not have as much as you would have liked (or none at all) and that I shouldn't get hung up on that they hadn't changed. The first time I learnt my lesson was beginning of July and I felt I got closure with that certain person. (Well I thought I had). The second time I learnt my lesson was end of September when one of my close friends showed that she wasn't as close to me as I thought we were. She showed me that she wasn't happy for me and turned into my problem. We still speak and are civil but we are not as close anymore. But anyway...I have learnt that I don't need to please people and just focus on myself. I was also able to have strength and gut to have my own voice and walk away. I was able to let go of the feeling of hurt and disappointment. This links in with trusting my gut too. Onwards and upwards is what I say!
Get Out The Comfort Zone
I can suffer with major anxiety and overthinking when it comes to getting out my comfort zone. And although I graduated with a BA in Early Childhood Studies and was going to do an extra year doing the PGCE qualification, I was too 'comfortable' in my workplace. I worked in Subway for just less than 4 years. I was one of the originals who still worked there from the beginning. My mum works in an Accounts office and heard a job was going and knew that although it wasn't teaching I was good at Maths and Computers and put my name forward. I eventually left Subway (which to be honest I do actually miss, think it was because I had a really good social life there and I had the best co-workers/friends) and went to work in Accounts. I really like this job and I like how I have a structured routine with 8:30-4:30pm Monday to Friday and better pay. Plus weekends off. I am starting to push myself more to get out my comfort zone. I hate picking phones up and I still do need to improve on this massively but it is a necessity in my job so thats pushing me. Whenever I have had a good phonecall and haven't frozen I feel a sense of achievement (just a little).My friends and I went to climb Moel Famau. We got 85% of the way but that was our first try. Who knows next time we may get all the way. There are 3 routes depending on people's abilities and time you want to spend. We went for the medium route which took roughly about 2 hours. We were all knackered but we all felt so good, refreshed and pleased with ourselves.
Use My Spare Time Productively
I am a known sleeper. 15 minutes spare - I'll be asleep. I still need to learn to control my naps as I am known to have naps and then still be wide awake at 1am when I have to be up for 7am to leave for 8. Half 7 and I'll still be in bed. I used to put so much pressure on myself and make sure I accomplished things within a short period of time but it cost me my happiness as I was getting very frustrated, stressed and less patient. 2019 has taught me that this year I need to do short realistic goals and maybe focus on one thing at a time. This year I am going to do my driving lessons so I am going to reduce the amount of nights out and maybe sacrifice a big holiday in order to pay for the lessons and tests. After completing this I might go and do my Numeracy & Literacy skills test, as I feel this will push me to go back into teaching. On my phone I have a motivational quotes album and when I feel down or have no energy I tend to scroll through this photo album to give me some inspiration.
Stop Searching For Love
A lot of people rely on apps nowadays and although I have had a nosey I want to be on my wedding day telling people a romantic story of how I met my partner instead of saying 'Yeah I thought he was good looking so swiped right not knowing his personality'. I'm old schooled. I have found that people who I have spoken to for a while have come unexpectedly and have made me feel happier (even when it didn't work out). This year I actually want to focus more on myself and what I actually want as well as focusing on my driving. Sometimes I do envy people who are in a relationship (especially with my sister & her fiancé and their son) but I actually like being single too as I enjoy my nights out and being independent and doing things for me. My mates don't like being single and use the apps and yes they do find people on there but thats what works for them. It's different for everybody. I believe the right person will come at the right time.
Work Hard, Play Harder
Work hard always pays off. In September 2018 I left my job in Subway and became an Accounts Assistant and I am so much happier physically, emotionally, socially and financially. I have been motivated and such a hardworker that they have extended my roles and responsibilities knowing I can handle it. The staff have also told me I'm not allowed to leave until they retire ahaha.
Nadine Alex x
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